Direct counseling, with a plan you can follow

The first session is a conversation, not an intake interview read off a clipboard. Both of you get to say, out loud and in front of each other, what brought you in and what you want to be different.

By the end of it you will have heard back a plain description of the pattern the two of you fall into, and a sense of what the next few sessions will focus on. Nobody leaves wondering what just happened.

Kathryn is Gottman informed and cognitive behavioral, and she is direct. This is not an hour of nodding and silence while you argue in front of a stranger.

Feedback goes to both partners, plainly and without taking sides. If something one of you is doing is keeping the loop alive, you will hear it, and you will hear what to do instead. You will usually leave with one or two specific things to try before the next session.

Every few sessions we step back and look at what has changed, what has not, and whether the focus still fits. If something is not working we say so and adjust it.

You should always be able to answer two questions: what are we working on, and why. If you cannot, that is our problem to fix, not yours.